Illusions by Richard Bach (ISBN 0-440-20488-7)Self Development
To everyone the steps are unique along their path to Self Development, but the process is the same. First you need to start finding out the truth about yourself, not who you intend to be but who you are. Next you need to learn how to overcome the tremendous human inertia that resists change. Finally, you must take those steps that you define for yourself that lead to a new future. If you don't follow this process, your tomorrows will be copies of your yesterdays. You can change the picture of your future if you follow this process.
Here are some books that have helped me so far along my journey. For a better look at the cover, just click on the thumbnail picture. Use your browser back key to return to this page.
Illusions by Richard Bach (ISBN 0-440-20488-7)
This book has the most interesting subtitle "The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah". The story is about an auto mechanic in the mid west who cannot hold down a job because the people keep flocking to his place of work to see his miracles. His bosses end up firing him because the crowds get in the way of getting any work done. The mechanic finally quits his job as the Messiah because the people only want the miracles, they don't want to learn anything about themselves. He finds a friend that he can teach and continues his work one on one. The point I took from this story when I read it the first time twenty years ago was that reality is an illusion that we create in our own mind. I have recommended this book to thousands of people and given it to many over the last twenty years. Interestingly though, I didn't "get it" about reality being an illusion until recently as it pertains to my life.
The New Oxford Annotated Bible (ISBN 0-19-528356-2)
After Illusions I began to study the Bible to find meaning in life. This process began in earnest about ten years ago and it has been a long process to find absolute truth in a world that so willing accepts relativism. There is not one way to study the bible I have found, you need to continually be doing things that bring it's wisdom into your mind. The parts that God wants to stick will stick. Some people are the Chapter and Verse type, but that's not me. I can't tell you where something is in the bible but I can find it with a good concordance. That is a tool that cross references words to the Chapter and Verse. As an example if you look up the word love in the concordance you find over a hundred references to where it is used in the bible. I've used this tool for years when trying to answer difficult questions. This bible is quite handy because it contains a concordance.
The Man In The Mirror by Patrick M. Morley (ISBN 0-310-21768-7)
This book was recommended to me as part of a weekly men's small group that I joined. It taught me two very important things. The first was in Chapter 5 when the book leads you through a process of discovery about who you are supposed to be. This was a very powerful process for me because it gave me a moral direction to my life. Unfortunately, I found that my actions were not moving me in this direction. The good news is that this discrepancy pointed out some growth that I needed. The second thing this book taught me was that rest is part of God's plan. In today's high pressure world where we are always over committed, rest is the last thing that any of us get around to. Unfortunately, when we fail to charge our batteries, we plan to fail. Rest is as important as action. The trick is to get the balance right between them. Part of rest is taking time to make sure that your action is in the right direction. When the actual and desired direction of your life is in synchronization, you reduce your stress which is like free rest. Taking actions to get your life going in the right direction reduces your need for rest which changes your balance point.
Disciple Under the Tree of Life Study Manual (ISBN 0-687-09667-7)
This study manual is the fourth in the Disciple Series. Each manual is a thirty-two to thirty-four week study guide outlining daily study and a weekly review with other class members. The study is designed to be transformational, but it wasn't until recently that I understood how to accomplish my transformation. It is very easy to see what needs to be changed in yourself but making the change or being transformed is almost impossible. Anybody can figure out what but few can figure out how and make it happen.
Secrets to Lasting Love by Gary Smalley (ISBN 0-684-85051-6)
The subtitle to this book is Uncovering The Keys To Life-Long Intimacy. Another book by Gary Smalley was recommended by a friend that I could never find and in the search for that book I discovered this one. It was very helpful to me in pointing out that conflict was a door to deeper understanding. You either go through the door and get to know the other person or you shy away from the door of conflict and return to shallow levels of conversation that don't make any waves. If you do not learn to move past conflict you don't get to know the other person intimately, and you stay at a shallow level of interaction.
Einstein The Life And Times by Ronald W. Clark
I took a trip to see my sister and spend some time with her that wasn't a holiday occasion with other people around. I wanted to intentionally spend some time with her so that we could get to the deeper level of communication that large family gatherings don't seem to foster. I've always been an early riser so at 4:00 am on Saturday morning I found myself sitting in her den sipping my first cup of coffee and wondering what I would do for the next few hours while the house was quiet and everyone was asleep. I surveyed the room and decided to get up and look at the wall of books for something to read. I've always liked biographies because they give you insight into the habits of successful people. I came across this book and sat down and began to sip and read. I had a great visit with my sister and left for the airport with the book in my bag. Sorry Pat, you'll most likely never see this book in your library again. There are two things this book taught me that instantly turned my life in a new direction. First, was the method that Einstein used to arrive at his famous theory of relativity. Classical physics had always held that you should do experiments in your area of expertise and then develop theories that explained your results. Einstein on the other hand felt that this method only developed theories that were valid locally in the area of your experimental data. He held that you should first develop your theory and then do experiments that would substantiate the theory. This would give you a theory that had a broader application than the area of knowledge supported by experimental effort. It was this technique that allowed Einstein to develop his Theory Of Relativity, which for me was the second important lesson from this book. This theory holds that events in space are not absolute but they are relative to observer. Mixing this theory with equal parts of illusion and I began to see that my reality was limited by my own ability or inability to observe my actions. As Arcineo used to say "things that make you go hummmm"!
The Special Theory Of Relativity In Human Decision Making by Bob Lee
This is a white paper that I wrote to explain to myself what I needed to learn. It is a little on the technical side but as an engineer it is quite meaningful to me. Everything that I say might not be true from your point of relativity in observing life. This web page is written as an example of the process that I had to follow. Your individual steps need to be defined by you for you. This metaphor to Einstein's great work for me provides the framework that allows me to see myself in an absolute sense; with my filters down and viewed as God sees me. You need to be careful here. This is a critical step of your development. You need to find a way to see yourself as God sees you. This does not mean listening to everyone else. They like you have their own filters that prevent them from seeing the truth. This is a step that you will need to take on your own. Others can help, encourage, guide, and coach, but in the end, you must see yourself through the pure eyes of God. Nobody else can make this discovery for you. The good news is that God is on your side, so don't be too critical of your past or negative about your possibilities in the future.
The next four books I found in the local public library while doing research to expand my Theory of Relativity. I was looking for things on change and didn't get very far so I started looking for information on habit. This led me to an interesting discovery. Most of the literature available concerning habit is about substance abuse addictions. This led me to the idea that an addiction was a habit out of control. I could also consider habits that no longer suited my needs as habits out of control or addictions. Perhaps I could use the addiction treatments widely reported in the literature to reprogram my habits.
Snap Out Of It! by Dr. Herbert S. Cohen (ISBN 0-87131-896-2)
This was the first book I began to read from my trip to the library. I've subsequently purchased this and the other three books for my own library. I immediately liked this book because it was action oriented and got right to the task at hand. It started by getting you to focus on what you want out of life. You read a little and then write down an assignment. At times it even told you to stop and wait a day or so to make sure what you were writing was what you really wanted before you went to the next step. I have used the Snap Out Of It technique to loose eighteen pounds in two months and I'm still going down. No diet, no hunger, just a reprogramed eating habit. I haven't yet conquered the exercise beast but one thing at a time, one day at a time, I'll overcome my resistance to exercise habit too!
Change Your Life by Becky Tirabassi (ISBN 0-425-17819-6)
The subtitle of this book was what drew me to it "Achieve A Healthy Body, Heal Relationships And Connect With God". I picked it up during one of the waits in Snap Out Of It and could not put it down. It started me with the daily habit of journaling. Using the format prescribed in this book each morning right after I rise I write down my thoughts in four areas of my life: Physical, how was my eating exercise yesterday and what is my plan for today? Emotional: who do I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness? How can I give to others? Spiritual: This is broken into two sections, Talking to God where you write down what you want to say to God specifically, and listening to God where you write down what scripture has said to you today. You can use any technique that keeps you in the word daily. I use my Disciple IV daily reading assignment. You could also use a Bible a day scripture guide that divides the Bible into 365 daily pieces that allow you to read the entire bible in one year. For me this was a breakthrough because it explained listening to God in a manner that worked for me. I have never been one to hear voices or be visited by an angel, however the written word in the bible has grabbed me by the heart many times. The final section of the daily journal is Mental: plan the things you need to do today that you discovered in the other three sections of your journal. It's the important transformation step, turning idea into action! It is not the one big bang that makes me a new person, it's the millions of microscopic mid course corrections that get me to my destination. Journaling is a daily check on the progress of navigating your life where you write down your progress as the log of your journey.
Life Strategies by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. (ISBN 0-786-88459-2)
This is an incredibility powerful book for people that are willing to look at life in the face and not hide behind the filters that they have used to get this far. The ten Life Laws presented help you come to grips with the things that you cannot change about the world. They teach you to use these behaviors in yourself and others to your advantage rather than getting a bloody nose by fighting battles you cannot win. In 300 pages you are led through a balanced combination of theory and practical application of that theory. The book contains eighteen assignments that you do to develop your own Personal Life Strategy. As Dr. McGraw points out, it is the most exhaustive analysis of you that has ever been done. It takes some time and effort to complete the assignments but it is worth every once of effort. One of the theories presented struck a chord in my mind: There is no reality, only the information that your senses receive and the perceptions that you assign that input. As an example, when your ears hear your child yell the words "I hate you". Your perception could be that you child no longer loves you, or you might perceive that your child does not like being disciplined for something you just caught them doing. There is no reality around the words "I hate you". There only is the perception that we assign those words in the context of the situation. After saying the words "reality is an illusion that I create" for twenty years, I finally got it. Life Strategies showed me how to control the illusions I create and this is some powerful magic.
Do It Now! by Dr. William J. Knaus (ISBN 0-471-17399-1)
This is a very insightful look on procrastination, a life long friend of mine. When I was little mom told me that I shouldn't hang with the wrong crowd and procrastination is one of the crowd she was talking about. Naturally, I didn't get it till now even though she told me forty years ago. There are not any so blind as those who will not see.
So this brings you to now. I'm sure that some time soon I will have a breakthrough in the evolution of "The Special Theory Of Relativity In Human Decision Making". Stay tuned, I'll share what I've learned as soon as I learn it. Just remember, everything I say could be wrong. What's your truth?
Let Your Life Speak: Listening For The Voice Of Vocation by Parker J.
Palmer (ISBN 0-7879-4735-0)
In looking for a new direction in my career, I came across this book that was very helpful in providing direction to my search for vocation. Vocation is defined in Webster's Dictionary as: The function or career towards which one believes himself to be called. You need to get away from the urgency of life that keeps fighting for your time and energy long enough to hear your inner self speak it's truth to you. Who are you and what have you been built by God to accomplish is the question you must ask yourself. Then wait for the answer. This book helped me to understand that you can not force the answer to this question from your conscious mind because it is constrained by the baggage that you carry to only let in the information that it wants to hear. The problem arises when you suppress your true feelings to be true to things that other people have taught you to value. My inspiration came from a recalled scripture from the old testament. I remembered it as Isaiah 40:41 however the fortieth chapter of Isaiah only has thirty-one verses. Isaiah 40:31 is: but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. For the time being I will focus on completing my airplane and wait on the Lord to direct me to the next step. In the mean time I can do what I love and do it to the glory of God. Later on I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
The 10 Natural Laws Of Successful Time And Live Management by Hyrum W.
Smith (ISBN 0-446-51741-0)
This book provides a fantastic methodology to organize the priorities from all areas of your life into a single system that drives the tasks you complete each day. By knowing what your guiding principles are, you can use that information to decide on the priorities of the tasks that present themselves to you each day. This methodology understands that you will never do everything that ends up on your daily task list so it is important to maintain a prioritized master task list and each day work on the most important tasks you have. It sounds quite simple but the techniques to keep you focused on your priorities are the heart of this system. The thesis of the author is that inner peace is only attainable when you are actually working on what is important to you. The world does not care what is important to you, it only cares about what is urgent. Using Hyrum Smith's methodology will keep you focused on the important rather than the urgent.